BRAIN TUMORS

and a new tour schedule as my job really likes me and apparently knows i have to go kill myself in other cities in order to live. like that black sabbath song.

8/13 – fargo, nd
8/14 – minot, nd
8/15 – bozeman, mt
8/16 – total fest, missoula, mt
8/17 – total fest, missoula, mt
8/18 – total fest, missoula, mt
8/19 – seattle, wa
8/20 – olympia, wa
8/21 – portland, or
8/22 – eugene, or (NEED HELP, MAYBE SOMEWHERE DIFFERENT)
8/23 – chico, ca
8/24 – davis, ca
8/25 – san francisco, ca
8/26 – oakland, ca
8/27 – reno, nv
8/28 – slc, ut
8/29 – denver, co
8/30 – omaha, ne
8/31 – home

will fill in the times/bands soon.

on with the show.

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seeing as how we got linked from TOTAL FEST, i guess i’d better write.

and i’ve got plenty of shit to write about. i can write about how i sit at work and have panic attacks, sometimes the entire day, yet still refuse to stop drinking so much coffee. i can write about how i look at jobs all fucking day and how they do nothing but spell total doom for our current notion of society. i can write about how being lonely and crazed gave me some sort of purpose – a mission to impress someone – anyone. i can write about how using two fucking dashes in a paragraph bothers my better sensibilities.

ive got plenty of shit to write about. i haven’t been writing in my “real life” because i’ve entered into one of those quiet modes where i pace around in my head and eat the cuticles out of my fingernails. and no one ever looks at my hands, or even my fingers, because i’m too busy flailing around telling you how fucked everything is, but never telling you how fucked i is.

but im not going to write about that. i just want you to know that i’m fucked and that i think about spending most of my days face down in the dirt. on a farm. or sleeping in my van. my beautiful van that carried me and four other morons down, across, across, and up a selected part of the united states again. that is what i am going to write about. oh and there’s pictures, too, you cretins. so don’t stop reading just yet.

nothing gets better, ever

ever.

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8/13 Fargo, ND
8/14 Bismarck, ND? Minot, ND? *NEED HELP*
8/15 Bozeman, MT (w/ The Funeral and the Twilight)
8/16-18 Total Fest, Missoula, MT
8/19 Seattle, WA *NEED HELP MAYBE*
8/20 Olympia, WA *NEED HELP MAYBE*
8/21 Portland, OR
8/22 Boise, ID *NEED HELP*
8/23 Salt Lake City, UT *NEED HELP*
8/24 Denver, CO
8/25 Kansas City, MO
8/26 Omaha or Lincoln, NE
8/27 listening to Entombed in Mom & Dad’s basement because we got fired for touring

EMAIL US: TEENAGEIMPOTENTS——-at+++++++GMAIL-COM TO HELP WITH SHOWS AND SPREAD THE LATEST NEGATIVE KEVIN GOSSIP

new track uploaded off an upcoming 7″
SOUNDCLOUD HERE LOOK DAD

here is a link to our record we put out with DEAD BEAT RECORDS, the label that ripped us off by telling us we could buy more records at cost and then turned around and made us buy them for the same price as distros. again, this is DEAD BEAT RECORDS run by a guy named TOM.

BRAIN TUMORS LP

three new songs, one re-recorded song, and the demo minus one song because Tom didn’t like it.

we also have two sets of tapes we just put out. the title is called “whatever man, fuck everything”. these are two different tapes with the same title because it is hard enough to come up with one title. here are some pictures:

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5/12 – at House of the Lard with Negative Standards, Indulge, Cokskar

5/18 – Omaha, NE at 38th Ave with Gag Reflex and Shaman Exiles
5/19 – Kansas City, MO at Whatever’s Clever with Sucked Dry and Dirty Work
5/20 – St. Louis, MO at with Who Fucking Cares?, Overdoser, and Gluebag
5/21 – Iowa City, IA at Dodge St with Big Box, Los Voltage

5/25 – at Memory Lanes Block Party at Memory Lanes with Needles Varix Manipulation Rock Steady Breakfast In Defence Children of Euler Cognitive Dissonance The Arrivals Bellow
5/25 – at Club Med with Barons of Tang, Night Crusade
5/26 – Club Med with Mares of Thrace, The Funeral and the Twilight, Morality Crisis

shut up

i dont mean to overshadow our hatred of Dead Beat Records and our post about how no bands should ever work with Dead Beat Records unless they are comfortable paying the same price for their own record as distros and arguing over record art

dead beat records deadbeat records dead beat records deadbeat records deadbeat records (is this how google works?)

but

we made shirts. $10. all tie-dyed and unique. some absolutely insane featuring two prints:

we promise that once you order one we will not come back and tell you it costs more than it actually does. you know, like that record label – deadbeat records. Dead Beat Records Dead Beat Records

asshole

we recorded 9 songs. i was really drunk when i did vocals on all of them. im sorry. we’re going to be releasing tapes and maybe eventually some vinyl.

also, pay attention: if you put out a record with DEAD BEAT RECORDS, be advised that he will give you 10% of the pressing with the offer that you can buy more records at cost. then he will argue with you about record art. the conversation will go like this:

band: “we like the art”
tom from dead beat: “UHHH I DONT LIKE THE ART IT LOOKS LIKE ‘FUCKED UP’ RECORDS”
band: “the layout is from Husker Du’s Land Speed Record. we like the art.”
tom from dead beat: “MY GIRLFRIEND ALSO SAYS IT SUCKS”
band: “okay well i will change it 30 times for you for some reason even though you are not in this fucking band”

later when you try to buy your records at cost from him, he tries to sell them to you at the same price as distro and calls it “band cost”. his justification?

tom from dead beat: “i need to sell them to you FOR $8 EACH in order to BREAK EVEN”
band: “i will forward you the email you sent saying you will sell them to us at cost”
tom from dead beat: “A DEAL’S A DEAL BRO”

do not fucking work with this guy. his brain is gunk or he has a drug problem, or maybe a relative of his is sick in the hospital and he needs money. or something. i have no fucking idea, dude is weird as shit.

OH BUT HIS ORDER SHIPPING TIME IS STELLAR!

we will be doing a few dates in may, then a west coast tour in august. holler at your boy uhhhhhh

Friday, May 18th – Omaha, NE
Saturday, May 19th – Kansas City, MO
Sunday, May 20th – St. Louis, MO
Monday, May 21st – Iowa City, IA

we bought a van so maybe we can use it to tour in. maybe we can use it to live in on the side of the road when it explodes.

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Ikareta of Minneapolis hardcore rowdy! ! DEAD BEAT from first album of which I was waiting for! ! Demo / single will deepen further the madness showed at (FASHIONABLE IDIOT release), the Gotcha Gacha sound of Abaremakuri another, vocal ranting so obsessed No, the best (! Have possessed perhaps), hardcore strongest 12 pound punk! ! Sounds like Angry upset Flipping the Table, such as further angered and NEGATIVE APPROACH FIX “and Don Gala Gasshan” does not collect more patience. It is recommended! !

we made some wrong turn in wisconsin and took some side road for about an hour. as we were driving there was definitely a store called Kountry Korner Kitchen and Gifts. Gah! You rotten fucks!

i also saw a billboard about medicare that featured old people wearing Star Trek: TNG uniforms. it was baffling.