if anyone can get us a show with this band, Barb Wire Dolls, i will pay you $200. bonus if you can arrange an interview with the Andrew Dice Clay looking guitarist. this is about the next best thing to my idea stated a few posts back.
there is a site called Music 180 where you can pay to talk to all of the soulless pieces of shit that spend their lives writing radio music. i found my arch enemy on this site, Itaal Shur. although his name looks like a black metal band, he is the co-writer of Rob Thomas and Carlos Santana’s song, “Smooth”. i will not post a link to the song because if you havent heard it, you should remain ignorant of it.
anyway, i found out that for like, $100, i could talk to this fucker on the phone. i still may do it at some point but the initial plan was to record the interview and post it, but after talking to customer service it appears some sort of legal thing could result of doing that. so another promising idea shit shot fucked down.
we woke up in Oakland and all panicked for a while as we could not figure out how to get out of Dan’s house. everything was locked. eventually, one of his roommates left to go to work and released us.
we left and forged ahead into the city of San Francisco. Pat looked on in wonder as we drove across some fucking bridges. meanwhile, i texted my insane friend Will to meet up with in the Richmond neighborhood after we grabbed some food.
we stopped and all got fairly miserable meals for being in a place renowned for its cuisine. i got coffee and a lukewarm sandwich. we parked on a steep hill and all quietly worried that the van would tumble down into Geary St and kill some people.
the van did not tumble down and kill anyone. so we got back into it and headed to China Beach.
we stared at a lot of things. then went to Will’s place nearby and watched this amazing VHS tape that i watched with will probably about nine years ago at his apartment in Richfield, Minnesota. it was a VHS tape of a local Minnesota morning show and Will had it because there was a segment where him and his karate dojo were there, showing off their ninja moves or some bullshit. Will forgets his age the segment, which is funny. but truly the best part of this video is that GILBERT GOTTFRIED is the guest star. GILBERT GOTTFRIED at the height of his popularity from the Problem Child movies.
i’ve tried to get Will to upload footage of the show but he hasn’t yet. but Gilbert Gottfried is fucking pissed that he’s on this po-dunk morning show with the two goober hosts. so he dominates the entire show, screaming into the camera and being as difficult as possible, making fun of the hosts the whole time. at one point, you see one of the hosts start to crack as his control of the show is underminded by a deranged superstar Gottfried. from time to time, the camera pans across the audience to reveal a gaggle of uncomfortable white-haired scandinavian old women.
so we fucked around with that for a while and ended up heading to the Maximum RocknRoll home base to meet up with our friend Amelia, (who briefly toured with us last year, if you recall), meet nice people like Francesca, Miriam, and Lydia. fuck, i never remember names. we also got to “JAM SOME TUNES” on the radio show:
http://maximumrocknroll.com/mrr-radio-1311/
Dan is not on there because he went out to eat tacos with Max. he described them as the best tacos they had ever had, making patrick angry again.
i think from there we went to The Fortress which was described to me as some sort of pagan gathering house. which makes sense given the decor. i want to note that the fake moon up on the wall is sold at the place i work at, Frightprops.
the Fortress was a cool spot though. Backyard area, blacklight area, little table somewhere for us to sit around and be antisocial, and even a small bar where i think i paid $4 for a shot or some shit. so the place was similar to THE MED*****SA in Minneapolis, although MED is cheaper i think.
the place started to fill up and i ran into a dude named Jake that i met in Minneapolis from a band called Loma Prieta. guy was also playing in COMA, im pretty certain. i think he was also in Lewd Acts who i caught a few years back in North Carolina and he told me some great stories about their singer. one of them was about the dude putting a giant lock on his neck and having to do an entire tour because he couldnt get it off.
i think the Fortress is where we also formally met Kat and Jeremy from Effluxus, who are fucking great people with a fucking great band. but they helped us out and set up the show. also miriam and boo-boo and ruby and kevin and martin and even will, who is not into punk, showed up. blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah
about the bands, i wrote “Reckless were choked, Caged Animal were intense, Coma were tight.” our set, which was generated with some anxiety from pat and joel suffering from some sort of SPACE MADNESS, turned out pretty well. pat ended up rolling on the ground, breaking strings, and playing without a guitar strap while i screamed in peoples ears after breaking the microphone a few times. people were nice and receptive except for one super pissed white-pants wearing young dude who was mad that i was running into him, which made me happy.
then, due to tequila and other shit, there is a gap of time and memory until we resurfaced at Jeremy and Kat’s place where we watched their dog attack a boxing target (awesome), watched the Simpsons for hours, and went out for pizza and doughnuts.
it was a very positive experience for a group of dysfunctional dorks who usually feel out of place everywhere. thanks, San Francisco.
the next day we met up with Will and got some cheap and delicious sushi near golden gate park.
here are some pictures of the Oakland graveyard we visited and some weird pictures from Northern California, also from the Bigfoot Museum. i guess i forgot about them when i was writing shit up before.
