new yawk

i didnt take any notes on new york for some reason, but here’s what i got:

from pittsburgh we blasted out to new york. nothing was memorable other than the smell of new jersey and paying $800 in tolls. aaron had a panic attack in some tunnel with swirling lights. we get into new york and predictably, we don’t what the fuck we’re doing. we’ve got three dipshits with smartphones trying to navigate through space and time itself, all yelling different directions. we got looped around over and over again, all while checking on updates on the supposed hurricane that was going to decimate new york.

“you know Escape from New York? thats what this shit is gonna be like. you guys gotta take this seriously,” someone said.

after circling and denying internet maps long enough, we made it to the holland tunnel where we were informed we could not go in. they pulled us to the side and immediately some fucking asshole jersey cop started to yell at aaron to get out of the van. aaron grabs his trucker hat and puts it on backwards, then gets out and the cop starts yelling, “what the fuck are you doing, put on a fucking shirt!”

we hand aaron pat’s Organized Sports shirt and he cringes but slides the goddamn thing on, all while yelling back at the cops. they pull him back and start asking him questions about the trailer and demanding for him to open it up. after realizing it’s just a bunch of shitty band equipment the prick tells aaron, “i’m not letting you assholes go through the tunnel. nope. you got people who arent sitting in seats.”

aaron storms back up to the van and yells, “everyone get in your fucking seats, we’re going through this tunnel!” by then, the dickhead supreme cop seems to be getting talked down by one of the more reasonable cops.


aaron jumps in and yells, “thanks a lot, faggot,” at the cop and we bail.

we get to stolen sleeves collective and it’s kind of this cool loft inside a big warehouse building. i imagine people from new york will understand what that means and no one else will. the kids at the space and the dude who booked the show were really nice, but there were a few fuckheads who basically rolled their eyes after any of us said anything. as you cant drink at stolen sleeves, i was in the trailer, having a beer to ease the extreme anxiety i was feeling from how stressful driving through the city was. and for fun.

then a cop car rolls up and gives me and joel and logan $25 drinking tickets. at least they were nice about it.

we played and pat broke two strings. for shits i grabbed pats guitar strings and started dragging him around and cut one of my fingers, but we still finished our set a few people seemed to care, but they all stood there. same thing for much worse, same thing for death rats who were pretty decent. dont remember or care about the other bands. after the show, we sat on the roof of this big building and talked. we also got to see one of my best friends, ryan, our friend michelle, the brilliant jason dorkleson, and one of the gems of minneapolis who just relocated out to new york – angie from varix/question. amelia joined our hell-party and will be with us until asheville, nc. now we have ten people at this point.

last time my friend ryan met jason, jason kept talking about blood and all sorts of weird shit, getting mega tanked and acting like a deranged asshole. so it was funny when ryan said, “hey dude, good to see you again” to jason and i interrupted with, “no it’s not, you hated this guy”. i think they got along this time.

we all went to some bar and stressed out about the hurricane. i sat and talked to the gorgeous bouncer about one of her friends that had died after taking some super powerful drugs that someone gave him and said it was ecstasy.

then we all drank and argued about what to do for the night, some of us wanting to stay with ryan and enjoy the city after such bullshit getting there, while other people thinking a little more rationally and realizing that there may be a major event that i dunno, maybe rolls our van and trailer over and kills all of us and that we should leave while we can. so we left, but only after aaron smashed a glass on the ground after arguing with ben from much worse. after that, all sorts of people started smashing glasses on the ground. glass party 2011 no rules

we drove to philadelphia with everyone pretty wrecked and me still out of my mind from lack of sleep. at some point, pat grabbed my leg and i almost decked him across the face just for touching me. someone once called me “the angriest man in the world”, but i like to think ive calmed down since then. i think i ate at burger king on the way, which, by the way, was a bad idea. logan from mw tried to order a veggie burger and they kept trying to talk him into having a vegetarian whopper, which is a shitty cheese sandwich. it was weird how much the dude didnt want to make him the fucking veggie burger.

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2 Responses to new yawk

  1. Dan says:

    Whenever I order a veggie burger, they say “do you want bacon on that, heh, heh?

  2. Ben says:

    I wish I would have found out if Kevin Bacon’s son was in Death Rats that night.

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