we broke up in july of 2016

if you hate yourself, make art. it passes time and helps to place the focus of who you are on what you’ve made rather than what you are made of. and in the process of hating yourself and making art, you might accidentally create something amazing and hate yourself less. if you hate yourself, don’t make money because it is too easy to measure. if you don’t hate yourself, stay very still and don’t do anything. you could fuck it up.

our last show was with the mighty Wild Child who also broke up that day. other bands played. autonomy from chicago, ruz with the little umlauts over the u, lumpy and the dumpers, naive sense and i think thats it. this band leech from okc wanted on the show but there were just too many bands.

there are still good bands in minneapolis but not a lot of hardcore bands. Lemonade is a new hardcore band that is pretty good. No Skin put out a cool record that no one cared about because their members arent cute enough or something. Cognitive Dissonance became Geiger Counter and it sounds like Extreme Noise Terror with some cool melodic Scandinavian parts. Condominium is nowhere to be found. Much Worse is still Much Worse, meaning theyre the weirdest people playing the weirdest side of hardcore.

there’s a band called Cat Fantasy that are pretty cool but i dont see them and their name makes me ignore them even though theyre definitely decent. Ataxxia is good. i dont know if Verminoze is a “good” band (cant recall listening to them recorded) but they rule. Disaggio is another hardcore band that i havent caught yet but seem worthwhile. Favela Rising are still around and i gotta remember to book them on some stuff.

then there’s like 80 really great bands that just arent hardcore bands. oh well. who cares. gonna listen to this GG King album again

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2014 Tour Dates

new 7″ split coming soon. recording again in april on the same neve console as nirvana’s “in utero”. tour in may:

5/19 northwest indiana
5/20 cleveland, oh
5/21 buffalo, NY
5/22 rochester/syracuse, NY
5/23 albany/syracuse, NY
5/24 massachusetts
5/25 providence, ri
5/26 nyc, ny
5/27 nyc, ny?
5/28 philadelphia, pa
5/29 pittsburgh, pa
5/30 cincinnati, oh
5/31 lima, oh
6/1 chicago, il
6/2 milwaukee, wi
6/3 stupid minneapolis

need help with pittsburgh and maybe lima. teenageimpotents….gmail.com

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Nick Stoiber

If you’ve ever played in Eureka/Arcata, California, you probably know Nick Stoiber. He plays in a band called Komatose.

You probably think of Nick Stoiber as the guy who went out of his way to help out any band traveling from or to California by means of Washington or Oregon. Maybe you think of the guy who had a considerate vegan meal waiting for you and your bandmates which you appreciated (even if you weren’t vegan) – the guy who lived at a house adorned with so many show flyers of other bands he helped out in a small, close-knit community.

He’s that dude to Brain Tumors, at least. He’s only guy from Portland to Davis, CA that agreed to help us and our 30 year old van out through a maddening and treacherous journey down the coast. He set up an excellent show at his house.

Nick was recently involved in a street altercation where a man was stabbed and died. While I don’t know the whole story, one thing that is clear is that Nick punched the man in the lip and a person he was with committed the stabbing and has had their charges brought down to “involuntary manslaughter”. Nick worries that he will not receive the same mercy and will made an example out of – a warning for other dangerous no-gooders. Or whatever bullshit people want to use to further their political agendas.

I don’t know Nick through and through, but I know him in the sense that he did something really selfless by setting a show up for us, feeding us, and giving us a place to stay. Add that to the fact that I’m against the prison system in the first place, and you’ve got a cause to do something decent with your dumb day.

All you have to do is write a letter. Long or short, handwritten or typed – it doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, anything describing how he helped you could prevent him from sitting in prison, then struggling with housing and employment for the rest of his life.

I know a lot of bands that Nick has helped out and I have reached out to them, but there are so many bands I do not know. So please, if you remember any of your friends doing a West Coast tour, direct them here.

If you have a letter, send it to us at teenageimpotents @@@@ at GMAIL


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oh man, i am a real fucking asshole

first things first:

we have a split coming out with PISSWALKER from Omaha. they are our friends and they a fantastic band. we probably should’ve chosen a shittier band to put out a split with. you can preview it at the following links



the Brain Tumors Bandcamp has a ton of old stuff. unreleased versions of songs and shit. we will PROBABLY be doing a limited east-coast tour in may and we’re planning on recording another 7″ in april. we should have an LP done this year as well.

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3/23/13 – New Orleans, LA at The Mushroom w/ New Lands, Anne Frankenstein

the 3/22/13 update of Brain Tumors in Birmingham, AL with Anwar Sadat and Drones will probably appear in an issue of Maximum Rocknroll coming up fairly soon. maybe by the time it comes out i will have lost the weight needed to fit into the badass shirt i got from them.

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3/21/13 – St. Louis, MO at Bonerville w/ Overdoser, Who Fucking Cares?, Killer Blow, Coaxed

i hit my head on dan’s drum cymbal. i have done it probably 40 times before. no one has ever noticed that i do it (that i know of), even pat and joel. during the last song we played in the basement of a mercado for our friend jaime carrera’s performance festival, i hit my head on dan’s cymbal again. but i was too drunk or too stupid or too sad or too angry and nailed the wingnut. so i bled a lot. i did not get knocked out, but i got very dizzy for a moment.

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3/20/13 – Lexington, KY at Al’s Sidecar w/ Mayonnaise, Blood Pheasant

dear diary,

a lot has happened since we last spoke. most of our gear is broken in some way and we’re all more broke than ever. i am contemplating pulling a poser move and creating an INDIEGOGO for this band. but then again, maybe it is not a poser move as BRAIN TUMORS has always been a poser band of sorts – except for joel’s record collection. but what the fuck, making an INDIEGOGO can’t hurt us anymore than dan shithead johnson wearing a Comeback Kid shirt at our shows.

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3/19/13 – Cincinnati, OH at The Chameleon w/ White Walls, Gazer

i am going to Texas and will probably see some Chaos in Tejas shit, despite probably being blackballed from ever playing it. i guess that’s what you get when you send a bunch of emails about Ozzfest and Marilyn Manson to the organizer of a punk festival. Continue reading

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3/18/13 – Detroit, MI at New Dodge Lounge w/ Spit Spewing Snakes, Hood Rat (PA), Raw Dogs

“dude have you heard what henry rollins said about gay marriage dude he is so right i cant believe the singer of a seminal hardcore band is brave enough to speak his mind about a totally brainless and rational issue that is already widely supported amongst people who know who he is”

“dude have you heard what revolutionary internet punk drew from brain tumors said about henry rollins he is so right i cant believe the singer of a largely unnotable hardcore band is brave enough to speak his mind about a totally brainless celebrity”

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3/17/13 – Chicago, IL at Albion House w/ Bedsores, Kontaminat


i got some free fingerless gloves which were left in a paper bag with my name on them at Extreme Noise, probably by Antoine from WILD CHILD. make sure you check out their new record on DERANGED RECORDS.

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